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Tuesday 24 May 2016

My Trip on a Lego Spaceship

Once I was in a Lego spaceship and I was lost but it was awesome. My friend Hunter started a war and there were 100,000 of them and we bet them. I saved the day with Hunter and we flew away in the Millennium Falcon. We flew to my master and his name is Kylo Ren. He has a red
Lightsaber.

Kylo Ren turned bad when he was good. We got out our lightsabers and started fighting, Then Chewy came with a bow and arrow on his back. And we versed all the stormtroopers.

And we came along and met some old friends called Hans Solo and the Queen.

And then we went back home and helped some of Chewy’s friends. They are fighting the rest of the stormtroopers who are still out there.

Thursday 5 May 2016

WALT: Write a letter to a camp parent or camp leader
Use paragraphs for each new idea
Use interesting words
Edit our writing with a buddy to make it even better
Reflect on our writing using a rubric

If your parent went on camp, please write a letter to another person and give your own parent a big hug next time you see them.
_______________________________________________________________________________


14 / 3 / 2016

Kauri / Rimu
Yaldhurst Model School
Christchurch

Dear Jim at Rusty Carrot,

(Paragraph 1): In this paragraph you introduce yourself and thank the person for being at camp (at least 30 words).

Key words: enjoyed, fantastic, awesome, challenging, tiring, delicious, scrumptous, crazy, parents, Hanmer Springs, Forest Camp

Hi my name is Blake from Yaldhurst school and I am writing this letter to say thank you for helping us out on camp. You were fun, cool and wicked at making the food.

(Paragraph 2): In this paragraph you tell your person what you enjoyed about camp and what you remember most about the person that you are writing to (at least 30 words).


Key words: hydroslide, tree climbing,, mountain, mission impossible, orienteering, grass, Conical Hill,paint  game  lazy river, Rusty Carrot, Activity Hanmer, swimming, hot pools, thermal, sliding, waterslide, cabins, tiring, tidying

What I remember about you is that the food that you made was delicious. What I liked about  camp was the waterfall track because it was tiring and awesome. I also loved the paint game.                                   


(Paragraph 3): In this paragraph you ask the person some questions about their camp experience. These should be questions that you actually want an answer to (at least 30 words).


Key words:

Why do you make good food? How do you do it? What ingrediants did you
use for the lasagne? Did you have fun?Were you tired? What food did you like?


(Paragraph 4): This is the concluding paragraph where you thank the person again for taking part, sum up your feelings about camp this year and end with a positive comment about the person (at least 30 words).


Key words:

Thank you for your food that you made for us. Thank you so much.

>
Yours sincerely
(Blake Ramsay)    
When you have finished writing your letter:

1. Read it out loud to yourself.
- Does it make sense?
- Do I need to add or change anything?
2. Have a buddy reading conference.
- Use the sheet in your writing book.
3. Make any changes you need to.
- Use tools and fix spelling.
4. Add some pictures from above.
- Or ask Mr M if he has some others you could use.
5. Mark your recount using the rubric below.
6. Get a buddy to mark your recount using the rubric.
7. Ask Mr M to mark your recount.
8. Post your recount on your learning blog.
9. Comment on the recounts on other blogs.
- Remember to use the shared blog comment sheet


Marking My CAMP LETTER

What I need to do
Me
/ 5
Buddy / 5
Mr M
/ 5
1. PARAGRAPHS
tyg Each paragraph is about ONE main idea.
5
5

2. SENTENCE STARTERS
Sentences begin with different words.
4
4
?
3. VOCABULARY
The right words (key vocab) have been used to add detail and say exactly what you mean, and make sense.
3
4
?
4. LANGUAGE
Writing makes sense.
My writing flows smoothly.
5
4
?
5. PUNCTUATION
Capitals are used when needed.
Full stops are used at the end of sentences.
EXTRA: Commas, question marks, speech marks and exclamation marks used in the right places ( . , ! ? " ").
4
4
?
6. HOW DID I DO?
Total points (of 25 points)
21
21
?
Me: Star and a wish
Star:
Wish:
Buddy: Star and a wish
Star:
Wish:
Mr M: Star and a wish
Star:
Wish:


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